The first year in Lithuania

One Year in Lithuania: Reflections on Change & Challenge

I can’t believe it’s been a year already. I’m conflicted — in some ways, it feels like no time has passed at all, and in others, it’s been one of the longest, hardest years of our lives.

We’ve missed our family, friends, and the ease of living somewhere familiar — where you understand the cultural norms, expectations, rules, and systems. I've found myself using Google Translate in supermarkets just to figure out what I can safely eat — an added complication when you have food allergies. From learning the local customs to adjusting to driving on the opposite side of the road, nothing has been simple.

We quickly discovered that Amazon Prime next-day delivery was a thing of the past, and online food shopping required planning — and a second phone just to translate ingredients like coriander or carrots. Finding food the children would like or even be willing to try has been another challenge when familiar tastes are no longer available. We’ve had issues with delivery services—people claiming they attempted delivery when they clearly didn’t. We have a camera. We know no one came. It’s frustrating being lied to over something so simple.

Costs to Know – Things I Didn't Have on My Radar

Everyone pays 40% tax here. (In the UK, I didn’t, as I didn’t earn enough.) You also have to complete a tax return every year—even if you’re employed and paid monthly. Like many other non-Lithuanians, we found this out almost by accident.

You’ll also likely pay more as a foreigner—both for renting a home and buying a car.

The Predictable Challenges

I had anticipated some of the struggles. Felicity would miss her gymnastics — four sessions a week and the amazing community she had there. Elliott would miss karting, and we would all miss the closeness of our friends and extended family. It was hard saying goodbye — to grandparents, best friends, the last tennis or gymnastics sessions, and to the comfort of our own beds before selling off most of our furniture. At times, it felt therapeutic — realizing that it’s all just "stuff." But at other times, I was hard selling or giving away the things we had worked so hard to afford.

Dave adapted most easily. He always said he could live anywhere as long as he was with us. His perspective kept us grounded. After years of him working away, it’s been a blessing to finally spend evenings and weekends together. But maybe that’s also why the transition was harder for the three of us — we’d built our own little community while he was away, and now we were starting over.

Dave doesn’t need a big social circle. He’s content with a few friends he might message once a year, while the rest of us actively seek connection and companionship.

Felicity’s Struggles and Strength

Felicity’s adjustment has been the toughest. Moving to Lithuania was already a huge shift, but coming after a year where she broke her wrist — twice — and underwent two surgeries, it felt like too much. Gymnastics had always been her happy place, surrounded by her closest friends and incredibly supportive coaches who even adapted her training while she was in a cast.

She FaceTimed her UK friends constantly in those first months, but there were emotional ups and downs. It was hard to find a gymnastics club that offered Women's Artistic Gymnastics at a competitive level and spoke English. We visited several clubs — some didn’t reply, others turned us away despite confirming via (Google-translated) emails that we could attend.

I’ll never forget one particularly draining day — after a full day at work, I drove across the city (still learning how to drive here), only to be rejected at the door. Hot, stressed, and defeated.

Eventually, thanks to a kind colleague, we found a gym willing to give Felicity a trial. This felt like our last hope. It wasn’t like back in England — no viewing room, no idea what was being said — but we were grateful. Getting her to and from the gym meant negotiating early school finishes and even hiring a children’s taxi — something totally normal here, but very new to us.

But it made a huge difference. Gymnastics brought back Felicity’s confidence. She’s even attended two training camps — one in Latvia and another in northern Lithuania — something she would never have done a year ago.

Elliott’s Adaptability

Elliott coped incredibly well at first. He balanced Felicity’s stress with calmness, though he too was sad to leave his best friends behind. Thankfully, FaceTime and gaming helped bridge that gap. He made new friends through football and embraced the changes more easily.

Still, he missed home — the karting, his familiar routines, his people. Watching his friends race online in events he would’ve been part of was bittersweet. He cheered for them, proud but wistful. School hasn’t always been easy. There were ups and downs — as a teacher myself, I can say that no child (or adult!) enjoys school every day. New peers, language barriers, unfamiliar teaching styles — it was a lot to navigate. Tennis lessons helped, but football really made the difference. Some children spoke English, and the coaches were enthusiastic and kind — a warm contrast that gave him a much-needed boost.

Dave’s Steady Presence

Dave adapted the quickest, diving into work and cherishing time with the family. He starts early so he can be home for dinner — something we rarely had in the UK. One of his top priorities was finding a karting team for Elliott. With his own background in motorsports, it’s always been a strong father-son bond, and it was something they were both determined to continue. He found a team willing to work with privateers, offering support and access to karting as foreigners. Together, we juggle the logistics so both children can follow their passions.

My Own Journey

For me, Lithuania has been overwhelming at times. I was so focused on making sure everyone else was okay that I didn’t think about what it meant for me.

I hadn’t even seen our new home until we arrived — after a three-day journey from the UK. We’d picked it because it was near the forest, had a garden and a garage (for Dave’s “essentials,” including Elliott’s karts), and wasn’t in the city centre.

What I didn’t expect was that the house came fully furnished — from ornaments and oversized plants to car tyres, tools, and even a motorbike in the hallway. I was horrified when our own belongings arrived, poorly packed and spilling from the lorry. I’ll skip over that part…

Let’s just say, our tidy, minimalist life in the UK has been replaced by cupboards labeled “Do Not Open.”

One continued challenge is the lack of smiles or visible warmth. It’s hard not being able to read body language or understand the language. Felicity and I often wonder — is someone being rude? Are they angry? Or is this just how it is? We’ve decided to keep smiling, even if we “look crazy.” We understand there are historical reasons behind this cultural difference — but we still wish more people smiled back.

One of the most shocking experiences has been witnessing racism — something I immediately challenged. Coming from a multicultural community in the UK, where our friends have Caribbean, Asian, and Indonesian heritage, this was deeply upsetting. I hope Lithuania becomes more inclusive as it opens up to global talent — in medicine, energy, and engineering. It should never matter where you come from or what you believe. We all deserve kindness and respect. For someone who dislikes confrontation but holds values like equality, kindness, gratitude, mutual respect, and honesty close to heart, it’s been tough. I’ve witnessed and experienced situations where people weren’t treated with the basic respect everyone deserves. We have been stared at by locals a number of times, we are white, British we do look different to the locals but we do not have an extra head, three eyes or anything like that. Some friends have even been turned away from restaurants due to their ethnic origin, which was upsetting to hear about.

Friendship

Voice notes to friends - I’ve never liked the sound of my own voice and have generally avoided sending voice messages. But after moving abroad and missing my friends, I’ve changed my mind. One day, I received a voice message from a friend that was so comforting, it made me start sending voice notes—and even video messages, which is very new for me. I’ve grown to love hearing my friends’ voices. There’s such comfort in it.

Back in the UK, I rarely went “out-out.” Most of my socialising happened with the kids in tow—either meeting friends at parks or visiting each other’s homes. But moving abroad has pushed me out of my comfort zone. I've had to go out more, or I’d quite literally go mad. We’ve been out with the children exploring including a canoe trip with new colleagues. I visited the prison (child free with new friends) and found a music by candle light concert.

Navigating Cultural Differences

I am who I am—I feel no need to be anyone different, I enjoy a joke, and I can be direct. I’d been told that directness would be fine in Lithuania. But in practice, I haven’t found that to be true. Maybe it’s a cultural difference, but it seems that directness is only well-received when it comes from locals, otherwise you are rude which I find double standard.

A Change in Plans: Working Abroad

When we moved to Lithuania, the plan wasn’t for me to work—at least not right away. The kids were enrolled in the school they chose, and I planned to help them settle in. But then a teaching position came up in my preferred year group—at the same school the kids would attend.

With rent and other costs turning out higher than we were originally told, we started to reconsider. Should I work? What would I even do if I didn’t? I’ve always either had a child at home or worked. I used to fantasise about not working, but in a new country with no friends, I knew that would feel lonely. I’m someone who seeks connection.

So, I went for the job. It’s a new role that feels familiar but is very different. Teaching in an international private school is not quite the same as working in a state school under the British curriculum. I’m still getting my head around that.

Working full-time and being at the same school as my children is new for me too. I originally went into teaching after a different career, mostly because it fit well with having children. I liked keeping parenting and work separate. Now, they overlap constantly—especially with the kids often around before and after school while I still need to work. It’s been an adjustment.

Finding balance at home with working full time and navigating all of the changes I’ve taken up regular Pilates and yoga sessions at home, usually following video routines (RKWellness). I also read more now, partly because we don’t have a TV. We do subscribe to a streaming service, but with the kids increasingly drawn to screens, I’m trying to model lower screen usage myself.

Awkward Encounter at the Doctor’s

We all went to the doctor’s for our first tick vaccination. They took our temperatures, we filled out a translated form, and had our throats checked. When it was my turn, I was told I was “hot” at 37°C. I replied that this is a normal body temperature in England. The doctor suggested I take off my jumper and I’d be fine.

Then, just as I was sitting with the nurse in the next room, the doctor burst in, announcing loudly that I was pregnant and couldn’t have the vaccine. I looked utterly confused—I wasn’t pregnant—and wondered how on earth she’d come to that conclusion from taking my temperature and looking at my throat.

Dave let out a panicked, “What?!”
Turns out, the doctor had mixed up patient records and was reading the notes for the person before me—who actually was pregnant.

She followed me back into the nurse’s room, apologising and trying to lighten the mood, saying it would be a positive thing if I were expecting a third child. Dave and I immediately responded with “Absolutely not!” We’re very happy with two. Three? No, thank you.

The kids were utterly confused by the whole situation, and we all ended up laughing at how bonkers it was. Needless to say, we’ve since made appointments with a different doctor.

Life in the Forest (and the Mosquitoes!)

Living near the forest is peaceful — but we’ve become prime targets for mosquitoes. Within 24 hours, my skin was a dot-to-dot. We’ve tried every suggestion going, but it seems inevitable. Apparently, it's less of a problem in the city — lucky them!

We’ve made efforts to understand Lithuania better. Visiting the Museum of Occupations and Freedom Fights was deeply moving, and I’d highly recommend it.

Places We’ve Explored So Far;

• Museum of Illusions (the kids loved this)

• Trakai Castle

• Gediminas Castle Tower

• Užupis

• Vilnius Old Town

• Vilnius Cathedral

• St. John’s Bell Tower

• Town Hall Square

• Gates of Dawn

• Lukiškės Prison (just the adults)

• Birštonas – Observation Tower & Water Evaporation Tower

• Paupys Area (and food hall)

• Belmonto Park

• Kernavė

• Balžio Lake

• Gelo Beach/Lake

• Nida

• Klaipėda

• Kaunas

We’ve also driven to Sweden for Christmas and Finland for a summer break — something we plan to continue doing during our time here (more to come on this).

Looking Ahead

These are just our initial impressions, and I’m sure they’ll evolve. We have so much more to learn and explore as we begin our second year in Lithuania. Writing and reflecting on our past year has highlighted just how much we’ve achieved as a family. It hasn’t been easy, but together we’ve made some truly wonderful memories.

It’s easy to feel overwhelmed at times, but sometimes we just need to pause and appreciate what we have accomplished—rather than focus on the difficult parts. After all, it’s all part of life experience. These moments help us better understand our values, desires, and non-negotiables. They guide us toward what we need to do now, and what comes next.

Through it all, we strive to always be a kind, respectful, and gracious people.

Here's to more adventures, unexpected lessons, and — hopefully — a few more smiles.

Feeding My Desire to Travel (Through Books)

Since arriving, I’ve read several books that have really inspired me. If you’re looking to fuel your wanderlust, I’d recommend:

• The Catch Me If You Can: One Woman's Journey to Every Country in the World by Jessica Nabongo

• 12 Trips in 12 Months: Make Your Own Solo Travel Magic by Jen Ruiz

• Around the World in 80 Trains by Monisha Rajesh

Currently Reading

I’ve just started The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck: A Counterintuitive Approach to Living a Good Life* by Mark Manson—and so far, I’d recommend it